The Idiosyncratic Muffled Voices

As if loving two guys wasn’t bad enough, I had seemingly allowed doubts to convince me that one is more than enough.

There you go, cat outta the bag.

One so loving yet annoyingly obedient and the other’s so annoying yet obediently loving him in all biasness, I am.

Whoever thought love mirrors an infliction of mental distress and so much hurt, yet provides such gratification albeit afflictive and achy?

I love but I chose to love painfully. We’re loving in pain but still painfully loving.

and it’s not just the two of us.

***

Just the two of us, we can make it if we try

but it’s not just the two of us.

Just the two of us, building castles in the sky

but it’s not just the two of us.

Just the two of us you and i,

It used to be you and me,
now it’s “us”, now it’s “we”.

***

The head says be selfish and let go but the heart’s selfishly afraid of the what- ifs.

***

I hate Solitaire. Me Queen. You King.

I lose. Boo.

***

Fuck this shit.

I want to be twenty, flirty and thriving.

Where being selfish doesn’t feel like selfish and living feels like living again. Alone yes?

At least I was happy.

***

If only women has a magic mirror that tells us that we’re the fairest of them all every second of our living days, who needs men? Yup, fuck men. But fuck fairytales cos 1+1 is always 2 and that, ladies and gentleman, magic mirrors have since ceased production.

Ok quick one! Dah terpendam dalam hati jiwa dan ragaku sepanjang hari wtf.

See, I’ve been having migraine since God knows how little I was back then and i’ve always thought that God hated me to the core of the universe cos he blessed me with such horrendous soul tearing capillary rupturing nerve wrecking brain ripping malady wtf i damn drama right i know i know bazir tak masuk performing arts cos I’m not Tey Cindy WTF.

So yeah i’ve been having migraine since 10 000 BC wtf (wah lama tak guna WTF it feels so good instant gratification please) and the catalyst to the mother of all headaches would be factors like bright lights, stress, chocolates T_T, smoke, powerhouse noise dan lain- lain.

But recently and only recently I found out that there are other pemangkin that I should stay away from cos it gives me the great grandmother of ALL migraine in the cakerawala (perkataan dikutip dari Dragon Ball hasil nukilan Akira Toriyama.)

Guess la what is it, guess la guess la ok nevermind i tell cos I’m nice like that.

Body odour and baaaaaaaaddd breath :((((((( *mother of all sad smileys)

These days I’ve been inhaling expired air in the college’s premises like never before and I realise how malignant I kid you not wtf the air is. Mainly cause it came out of everybody’s respiratory system and circulated in the confinements of the library and college corridors, we all love mother nature so much that we’re recycling air yo’. Sked or not!

Okay so the story is like this. Days ago, I walked past the corridor to get to the library which I affectionately call Libby and because I’m human (contrary to popular belief wtf cos people seem to get the notion that I’m a female dog and the boyfriend thinks I’m a cat RAWR I don’t even walk on fours dammit) and secara reflex I will breathe la kan. The moment my nose detects the stench in the air, receptors in the brain will give the numskulls a cue and there they’ll go having the time of their lives jamming and rocking away at the expense of my pain and suffering.

The Numskulls. Awesome comic

Ya lah so now I know exactly who stinks and who doesn’t. Sorry okay I know people might get offended at what I’m saying especially college mates but I’m not naming names so go get a life already cos I’m not giving you a reason to bitch about me again pfft.

Eh eh belum habis pls.

Today I was sitting next to this person tau and out of nowhere and no reason I got a thumping headache. Tetiba pls char dou or not I ask you. I initially thought it was the dark chocolate M & Ms that I whulloped satu peket aku gasak that was acting up so I took two Actifast pills (woohoo you’ll know you’ve already made it in life when you do cool things like drugs wtf I’m kidding okay do you have a sense of humour, I do albeit a lame one) and things were okay UNTIL my head was paining again. Paining okay. This is what years of studying in Brickfields made me. PAINING *goyang kepala cam sistem robot tergendala*

Then I realised that the person who was sitting next to me was exhaling some foul smelling breath that kills any garlic anyday. I swear ANY species of garlic, hidroponik ker tak, tak kisah ok janji bawang putih. Durian pun kalah okay but tak kisah sebab durian adalah Tom Cruise dunia buah buahan wtf. Brad Pitt la whatever okay don’t waste my time.

When she left, i heaved a sigh of relief but I swear, no bad breath cos i use Sensodyne don’t play play. By the way Sensodyne has no buih so tak syok so I went and bought a tube of Colgate yesterday. Being fans of ubat gigi berbuih- buih, I thought my sister will lunge towards me and slobber me with wet kisses eww when i show her a tube of ubat gigi berbuih buih but nooooo, this is what she said.

“Eh i don’t like colgate okay. Why you buy colgate! We still have a tube of Himalaya!”

WTF Himalaya so organic. Herba warna- warni yo’. Mat Kool Mat Kool kawanku, keluarga aku cool macam aku.

Since I’m on a roll, lemme continue.

Kuku ku cool macam aku, Warna merah jambu warna kuku ku, Sedap sungguh lagu- lagu Mat Kool, Tapi aduh tak setanding Negarakuku.

Okay la i’m so lame that no one in the world will get me so I will stop here. I just needed to rant about smelly breath and deodorant- less armpits yang berbulu curly- curly (hahah jaja I learnt this from you ok)

Oh ya people of the world shut the fuck up la if you don’t want to study. Dah la exam dah dekat. Tak serik- serik lagi. Bakar tetek kang bagi sedar diri skit.

BM has never sounded so weird and stupid but please ah this blog post is not a ticket for peminat- peminat bahasa kebangsaan sedunia to burn my house down. I’d like to think I’m just cool like that. Like Mat Kool

Exam in 15 days T____________________________T please just pull my uterus out end this pain and misery ya rabbi!

Ok habis bai.

Fin.

Guestblogger:

Hey all this is the pussywhipped boyfriend blogging. Yeah betcha didn’t know didya? Waifon’s busy, too busy for me too, so in effect i ain’t busy as busy bee she is be. By logic and boy am I logical, she argues, I shall blog for her instead.

I am blue and I am green. I am truly grossly obscene. I can rhyme but waifon can’t because she ain’t blackenese like i am.

You know blackanese, like chinese trynna be black. Well I just thought so coz I was wack. and I got some of the qualifications of being black. Like you know, that thing, yo.

that, and I like to say yo a lot.

***

Yay I’m too lazy to function so I’m gonna update this dead piece of a blog.

EDIT: Aduh why is he so lame =_= Love IS blind. wtf.

And this is why you guys shouldn’t forget that I’m still alive cos I’m (web)camwhoring yo wtf.

Read the rest of this entry »

Memang pun hidup cam neraka

Hell- o blog- lings! Earth- lings, blog- lings geddit geddit. Aaaanyway… 

I won’t say that  I’m on a hiatus cos everytime I declare a hiatus, I’ll find myself blogging religiously for the next few weeks. And sadly, I have no time for that now.

Scarce update will be more like it, insyallah.

Lotsa things to sort out now. Have been feeling really tired and too stressed out for my own good. Plus, I kinda lost the knack for blogging. Might consider biting the dust but as for now, I’ll play it safe and not do anything drastic

I really miss my old bitchy, angsty and don’t- give- two- fucks style cos honestly, I still don’t give two fucks, rather I’ve been blogging and self- censoring so as to not step on the wrong tail in this blogosphere *eiyer i cringe everytime I mention that word hou mou* cos lately, the blogging community hasn’t been very nice to one another.

It makes you loathe the people who are both a blogger and your friend cos this dual personality thing is kind of sickening HAHA look who’s talking wtf). All these hypocritical, vicious and spiteful people, time for some social detox y’all.

Oh I miss being funny too. Well that’s what I’ve been told and I’d like to think so wtf don’t burst my bubble ah. Well my lacking in the looks department has to be compensated with a personality of some sort right? Baik aku mati jer la kalau i buat lawak tak laku. Menyampah. Meluat anak mak orang tengok.

So yeah, I’ll blog sporadically over a period of 32 years insyallah panjang umur. Nak baca, baca. Tak nak baca sudah.

While I’m not around, some really awesome people will be guestblogging for me cos they themselves can’t stand the dead silence around here. Tak sabar sungguh! And I promise these guest bloggers are the funnest people around omg I’ve been doing nothing but be a social recluse hence the lack of socialisation and sanity that I’m creating my own language. Funnest wer, tah pa per.

I’m craving for flamingo meat now. Well not that I’ve tried it but I sound damn cool right eating exotic meat and all. Pink flamingoes look damn pretty from afar you knw. Pink and all so pretty. Tapi tengok dekat- dekat, macam nak tumbuk mata bagi lebam. Oh now I know I can’t see eye to eye with a flamingo.

Yer why am I so lame ok bye nak study.

These days I spend so much time cringing I don’t think there’s anything in the market that can straighten out these wrinkles/ worry lines. Cringing at the papers, cringing at the news, cringing at my essays, cringing at my mother, cringing at my father ya allah, cringing at my reflection in the webcam, cringing at my sister and cringing unconsciously sigh. An ant is crawling on my arm as I’m typing this hoho why am I so sweet and I automatically cringe at the sight of tht funny insect with no backbone.

Name: Yoon Wai Fon
Age: 19
Occupation: Cringer.

Well I actually spent more time cringing for the past weekend due to the extremely panicking and worrying elections results and horrible biased articles spat all over mainstream papers, I swear it has been forever since I last browsed through The Star and I really kinda miss it

I have no time to reply comments from previous entries, let alone post a new entry. Will reply comments later! Promise! *crosses fingers kat belakang buntut wtf* Nothing bout elections here today. Just a very random update.

However yes, I’m still rather unsure of my feelings/ sentiments regarding the elections result. Happy yes but worried? For sho :/ But bet most of us were worried sick and subsequently died of extreme happiness as the Opposition started picking up and shoving shit into BN’s face. I kinda pity MCA though. They’ve worked hard. I think hehe. Racially biased /slaps

Okay, yes yes boring updates about me. I don’t see a need to blog when I have no time for fun but somehow I felt compelled to update. As i’m typing this, the laptop’s clock says it’s 6.16 a.m. and oh, morning Chen! Hahahahaha.

Funny, when I have absolutely jackshit nothing to do, I don’t bother bloggging. Will only get my act together and go all gungho abt updating when I’m extremely busy albeit having to rush this post after my round of studies and right before I die on my bed. It’s 6 and I’m not sleepy sigh but I have to cos I need my sleep so I can study tomorrow. Later. Whatever.

Eh I sound so boring that i feel like slapping myself with a platypus. Okay fine, a less endangered animal, a snail ewww.

So yeah I just realised I’ve been confining myself in my room that’s no bigger than an Xbox for the past 4-5 days. Found absolutely nothing to do outside my room besides cooking and baking and I basically functioned within the perimeters of my room.

And because I’ve cultivated this stupid habit or eating when studying, I’VE GOT AN ITSY BITSY CHOCOLATE STAIN ON MY NEW SHEETS YA ALLAH WHY AM I SO GELOJOH! T____________________________________T

I’m currently typing this on my dining table and it feels weird cos suddenly the world seem so much bigger! And the air is fresh! And I don’t feel suffocated by the pink objects in my room anymore I just realised how much I appreciate whitewashed walls, earthy tones and brown furniture. And I have my eternal love for duck shit green somehow. Teamed with royal purple and off white, absolutely luxurious and classy. The day I start rambling about colours and do a thesis out of awesome colour combination in ONE post that spans fpor 18 pages on MS Words is the day I’m eligible to murder anyone under the defense of Diminished Responsibility. Basically meaning I’m mad.

Lately I’ve been sleeping when the mother’s alarm clock rings and when the mosques belt out their fly tunes. And I still wake up earlier than Albert on the weekends wtf cos he sleeps his day away -_- Funny I don’t get restless or tired throughout the day but this whacked up sleeping pattern has been giving me weird dreams everyday.

Scenes in my dreams go through a weird transition in place and the subsequent places were always very random and disjointed; completely irrelevant to the previous scene, like a farm, a classroom, driving range, toilet and my principal’s office wtf etc.

Just the other day, I got to ride in Amy Winehouse’s car and I was the driver. We then reached some construction area and then I got to maneuver a tractor. holy mama a freaking tractor yo. Then somehow we got really emo and I kissed her. Sweet. That kiss was so fucking real I thought I was gay. Which is not a bad thing you know. She was wearing a yellow tube dress and looking completely disheveled and unappetizing haha but it was still a supercalifragelisticexpialidocious kiss baby I miss you T___________T baby as in Wino okay T____________T

And I kissed a whole lot of girls too. I kinda figured that I was bisexual cos I get emotionally attached to a girl very easily and I somehow feel a pang of jealousy when they mention about other girls or their girlfriends wtf. WHY AM I LIKE AND I BET I DIDN’T GET IT FROM MY MOMMA.

Chen said I am closeted. I am closeted even with myself. Is that true? How do you know that you could be gay? I seriously like girls and I dig hot chicks. Ask the boyfriend. I check out chicks more than he does which is quite disturbing. And I’m not checking out to see if they are dressed better than I am but to see if they’re hot.

And I only like to eye a particular kind of chicks okay. Got taste please. But if I really know a girl who doesn’t have the sexbomb look, I dig chicks where their personality totally compensates. Even when watching porn, I prefer watching the girls rather than giant talalas and ding ding dongs. I mean yeah, I get all hot and bothered wtf just looking at em’ tits why do I sound like a guy now. Oh oh I can now imagine a girl without a bra anytime when I take a look at their chests. Could guess the size as well as long as the size ranges between an A to a D. Kalau besar skit, Z la tu.

I think my interest in girls outweighs my liking for guys cos I see a yummy guy, I don’t feel like shagging him but when I see a yummy girl I totally go bonkers and have words like “that’s swell, baby, oooh, sweeeeetttt, giuchie giuchie ya ya dada mocha chocolata yaya” popping up in my head.

WTF am I coming out of the closet now!

I might not even be bisexual, probably just straight up without ice, plain gay!

Woohoo, is this what my forefathers died for? Gee…

So yes story of my life AND my queer sexuality. Sooner I’ll be falling for rocks, dogs, pots and kettles. I am so emotional le sigh.

Oh paper clips too.

Time to so some reality check! Chop chop! [At this point I fell asleep and was drooling on the touch pad]

Revision has been pretty slow. Keep procrastinating T______________T And I’m so worried that my notes are too long, better yet, no notes at all (YET) cos I’m busy going through the syllabus again. Of course writing helps you remember but to me writing and copying is just fucking writing AND copying! Don’t see how that will make me remember. Most of the time i don’t bother referring to my own notes. I wonder why don’t I trust myself enough Well that explains why I’m the one studying and not standing before 400 students and yak without a book.

Okay Chen (why do I keep mentioning your name babe. maybe cos you dreamt that we got married butI froze at the altar HAHAHAH) said that reading my post is like a treasure hunt. It’s too long as well.

So I’m just gonna cut it short, before I type till your cows and my bulls come home.

Guess who is going to see Colbie Caillat this Friday! Very very excited! To the person who got me the passes I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

By the way, still in a dilemma. Don’t know if I should go for Sunburst this Saturday. I’ve got class and I’ll be to tired. And I still have lectures on the following day. Opportunity cost! But but but there’s Incubus and John Legend T_______________________T and I really wanted to go to the pajama party Pinkpau is organising but paauuuuu why must it be on the same day!

I couldn’t bring myself to camwhore with a pack of Chipster in bed anyway. Would have chips digesting in meh tummy before a click on the camera. That is how gluttony I am T______________________T

Very scary. Exams= intensive revision= intensive binging= intensive weight gain Life is sad. Let’s end it wtf.

Ok dah habis. Chop chop!

BTW Youtube these people. RyanDan, Koko Kaina , Taylor Swift and Sia. Awesome RD makes me wanna cry you HAVE to listen to their LIVE performance cos recorded version surpresses the awesomacity wtf of their voices *shiny eyes* just like KT Tunstall and Feist have to listen to their live performances okay. Youtube misery business by Paramore too, prefer their acoustic version though. Koko Kaina is from Malaysia who makes you wanna celebrate Christmas all year round. Taylor Swift is gorgeous, dreamy and has a nice body, well I mean voice. Her song “Our Song” has some funny lyrics and catchy tunes. Sia is just weird and trashy but fucking good singer. I am just weird with no talent wtf. Well I can cry! If I try wtf.